Lucid Dreaming
by Mynt Mint
Summary: Sam has been living through his dreams, creating the relationship with Puck he could never have. What happens when he decides to dream forever?


**Title**: Lucid Dreaming

**Author**: Mynt Mint (AKA emotionalcrux)

**Fandom**: _Glee_, Season Two, AU

**Audio Fiction - Song: **Imaginary by Evanescence  watch?v=odatDWByonw

**Genre:** Romance/Angst

**Rating:** M

**Pairings:** Spuck (Sam/Puck)

**Special Thanks: **Pauline and Laura, my pretty little Beta Readers, you very sexy. And Andy too, he's extra sexy. To be honest, Andy edited this so much it's almost half his writing, so you have to thank my underpaid phone monkey extra specially for it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Glee. If I did, you'd know. All or any characters and songs used in this fan fiction are the property of their rightful owners (i.e. not me).

**Summary**: Sam has been living through his dreams, creating the relationship with Puck he could never have. What happens when he wants to dream forever?

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! I'm here with an idea I've had for a while now, and I just had to write it because of reasons. It's meant to be an Audio Fiction, so there's a song in it... duh. The song is ^ up there ^, so I suggest you load it now and pause it before it starts. **Don't listen until it says too. **Or else you'll ruin the mood and that's no fun at all. After that point in time, you can replay the song or just leave it, that part is up to you. But I do recommend you don't play it too loud, as I wrote it to be background music. And sorry if the song sucks, too.

This takes place between Born this Way and Rumours, before Sam loses his house. You'll have to suspend disbelief with the fact that Sam, Puck, and Kurt are the only characters shown in the fiction, I just didn't want to write anyone else :s . I may have also cut this down a good lot, because I was edging 3,000 words and I couldn't be bothered writing any more (ironically, I've probably written 1,000 words in the before- and after-notes combined. How embarrassing.

* * *

_Puck lovingly stroked Sam's cheek. Sprawled across each other, the two were comfortable just lying on Sam's queen sized bed. Sam purred at the touch, closing his eyes at the warm feel of Puck's hand. He always loved how Puck seemed to generate heat._

"_I love you," Puck whispered. Leaning towards Sam, he puckered his lips in preparation for a kiss. Sam sobered his expression into one of desire before leaning into Puck-_

Sam groggily opened his eyes, weary of his growing consciousness. He stretched a hopeful arm onto the empty side of his bed in the vain hope his dream had come true. It hadn't. With a sigh, Sam wiped the blissful sleep from his eyes, hoping to swipe the dream away with it. But even if he could forget this dream, how would he forget the others? Every time Sam slept, he would dream of Puck - but each time the two would come close to sharing a passionate kiss, Sam would be pulled unceremoniously to the surface and jolted back to his disappointing reality.

Walking to the kitchen, Sam prepared a simple breakfast of muesli and fruit. Nothing too fattening. Lazily letting each spoonful slip past his lips, he let his thoughts wander through all his encounters with Puck. Ever since his arrival into McKinley, Sam had been unable to deny the sexual innuendo in almost all of their conversations.

"_How many tennis balls can you fit in there?"_

The chemistry was undeniable. When Sam finally decided to join the New Directions, the only thing that had made his smile falter was the news of Puck's untimely juvie sentence. The anarchic behaviour was something of a turn on, but after Sams attempted kiss with Quinn, it was interpreted as more of a threat. Luckily, when Puck's sentence was complete, he seemed to have vented his anger through other outlets and the two bonded through both music and education. Over time, the bond deepened and with the steady incline of the friendship, Sam's affections climbed ever higher. Sufficed to say, once the bromance level had been acquired, Sam had inwardly dropped his bisexuality to pursue _Puck_sexuality.

The scraping of his spoon against his empty bowl shook Sam out of his thoughts. Back in reality once again, he dropped his dishes in the sink and began preparing for school. In the bathroom, Sam shed his pajama shirt, ghosting a tentative hand over his stomach. His defined muscles looked somewhat lacking in his eyes. With a sigh of revulsion, he proceeded to strip and shower.

* * *

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Sam began his hygienic procedures almost mechanically - he brushed and flossed his teeth and gargled antiseptic mouthwash. After applying a thorough mask of pimple medication, he left the bathroom to carefully pick and dress in his clothes. Opting to leave his hardcore nerd-wear for a place less judgemental, he went with a simple jeans and skivvy combo. Approving his choice in the mirror, he scolded himself for nearly forgetting the final unseen touch. Retracing back to his dresser, Sam retrieved his necklace. Gingerly fastening it around his neck, he laid a pensive hand on the pendant as he tucked it in under his shirt. The pendant was the heart from the logo of the _Kingdom Hearts_ series, but it was special to him. It was just a cheap, plastic, corporate device used to generate money from a loyal fanbase, but it was a gift from Puck after their first Avcon together. When Puck trailed his arms behind Sam's back to place the gift, Sam's emotions did a linear split. He was overcome with feelings of complete and utter love, yet a simultaneous stab of discontent gnawed at his insides as he realized that the gesture was completely platonic and his feelings weren't reciprocated at all.

Shaking his head, Sam cleared his thoughts and left for school. He was always the last one to leave the house - his family left for their commitments while he was still showering. He usually walked, iPhone pouring music into his ears. Usually the dangerous volume allowed him to sink into a metronomic stupor, barely paying attention to his surroundings as he focused on his tunes - but today was different. He couldn't help but relate every song on his playlist to Puck. _Billionaire, Friday, Lost In Paradise, Where Have You Been, _every song he skipped sought revenge by calling upon yet another that would invariably remind him of Puck. Sam's brain didn't normally echo thoughts of attraction this intensely, but even every cloud and passing Volvo seemed to whisper '_Puck_' with the winds.

* * *

Sam walked through the school doors and wasted no time in getting to his locker. Considering he had dawdled through the school gates, he had to rush to arrive at class on time. Slipping past his teacher as she scribbled on the whiteboard, Sam slid silently into his chair, exhaling only when Kurt applauded his valiant effort.

"Very close," he commented, "Your late arrivals are becoming somewhat exciting."

"Shut up."

Shuffling his chair closer, Kurt turned his voice to a whisper. "Progress Report: how's '_Operation Spuck'_?"

"In No Mans Land."

"What!" Kurt said incredulously, "Even with your weekly Halo marathons?"

Sam nodded stiffly. "He doesn't feel it."

"How can you tell?" Kurt insisted, "I was certain Blaine was uninterested in any romantic relationship with me, but look at us now."

"Puck's different," Sam explained. "Puck's confident. If he wanted me he would've made it obvious - felt me up on the couch or kissed me or something."

"Don't be so quick to down yourself," Kurt reprimanded. "You don't think it, but you're very attractive. Now, as much as I'd hate to turn a back on a friend-" Kurt shuffled his chair back under his desk "-I need to finish this essay."

As Kurt isolated himself with his work, Sam nested his head in his arms. The makeshift pillow was somewhat second rate, but it didn't stop him from slowly dozing off.

* * *

"_This is great," Puck said, resting against a kitchen counter._

"_It is," Sam smiled. He was at the stove, his affection for Puck showing in his concoction. The pot he was stirring was sizzling, a sensual-smelling smoke wafting from the inside._

"_I wish I could stay... forever." Puck pushed himself off the counter as he strode towards Sam. From behind, Puck placed a warm arm around Sam, gingerly massaging the exposed chest he came into contact with. It was then that Sam realized they were both shirtless, and he was surprised to realize he felt no feeling of shame when he stared down at his completely bare chest._

_Resting his head on Sam's shoulder, Puck continued. "Could you imagine? Just me, you, and time." Moving his lips an inch from Sam's ear, Puck breathed a seductive sentence. "Maybe we could finally... kiss?" Sam could hear Puck's eyebrow raised as his hands vividly felt his chest._

_Swallowing hard, Sam couldn't deny that the thought was desirable. If he was completely honest with himself, he didn't think anyone would care. He didn't want to be taunted by his dreams forever, so maybe by never leaving them he never would? Would it be better to live in a dream if reality could never live up to it?_

_Sam could picture it now - just him and Puck, forever and always, with no distractions or interferences. It seemed perfect._

"_Sam? Sam?" Puck seemed to barely move his lips, but his voice was accusatory and unnaturally high. "Did you fall asleep?"_

* * *

"Sam? Sam?" Kurt tentatively prodded Sam's head with his pen, rolling his eyes when he snored in response. "Did you fall asleep?"

"Hrrngrhh."

"Sam!" _thwack!_ "-Awake yet?"

"Now I am," Sam snapped, groggily scratching his head. "English makes me sleepy."

"Well, there'll be time for sleep at night," Kurt said, "You can't sleep all the time."

"Just watch me," Sam mumbled as Kurt obliviously returned to his work.

* * *

When Sam got home that afternoon and slammed the door behind him, he was flooded with feelings of relief. He had managed to survive yet another day of school.

_My last_, he thought with relish. The last time he would see his friends again. The last time he would see his family. The last time he would see reality. These were his last moments. Tears threatened to caress his eyes, but the comforting thought of forever dreaming of Puck eased his mind. Sam found his eyes dulling and his expression turning stony as walked to his dresser and pulled out a half-empty bottle of Ambien_._

Just looking at the logo returned many suppressed memories - the ones answering the question of why he even had sleeping pills in the first place. Scowling in disgust, he emitted a low growl and threw the bottle on his bed. The sooner he was in his dreams and away from haunting ex-boyfriends, safe in the embrace of his best friend, the better.

* * *

"Well, Hummel, you have my attention." Puck grunted. "This better be worth you following me to Fight Club." He was annoyed that he was followed, especially since the anonymity of Fight Club was sacred (plus he bought some Syrup of Ipecac to secretly spike his opponents, which he was dying to use), yet he was impressed little Princess managed to survive a round in the ring against Ballers.

"It is," Kurt reassured. "It's about Sam."

"What about him?" Puck pressed. Luckily their conversation was taking place in a stranded street Kurt had dragged him to, or else Puck would have had to use force to get his answers.

"I'm worried about him."

"Why? Is someone messing with him? No one messes with my boy!" Punching his palm, Puck demanded answers. "Who is it? I'll mess them up!"

"Well," Kurt paused. "The person who is hurting Sam is..." Kurt trailed off, uncertain if he should speak his thoughts. At the provocation of Puck's narrowing eyes, Kurt quietly revealed "...It's Sam."

* * *

Smoothing out the sheets of his bed, Sam evaluated his spread. Seven tablets and a bottle of water to help it down. Perfect. All he needed to do was make his last moments on earth content.

Plugging his iPod into its dock, Sam pressed play and allowed the atmosphere to chill in accordance to the blissful vocals of Amy Lee.

**Begin Audio**

Sam propped his pillow up against the headrest and made sure not to mess up the bed as he sat down and swung his legs around. He wanted everybody's last vision of him to be perfect. He didn't want to be remembered for crinkled sheets and a stream of saliva across his cheek. He reached for the first pill and placed it on his tongue, eerily calm.

He took a sip and downed the first pill. Then a second. After the third, the bitter taste seemed to be imprinted on his tongue and he had to grip his necklace for the willpower to carry on.

After the fourth pill, Sam's eyes were beginning to flutter. His pseudo-immunity to the drug had long since eroded and his system was responding quickly. But he needed more pills for the effects to be permanent.

On the fifth, Sam's sagging eyes bulged open as he remembered something important he had forgotten. A note. A letter. Something to explain to his mother why he would not wake when she knocked on his door. A lump formed in his throat - he hadn't thought of how his family would take this. Which one would find him? He couldn't bear to think of Stacy or Stevie's face, distraught at the sight of their older brother forever immersed in sleep. But then the memory of Puck filtered into his brain yet again, and Sam swallowed.

He took the sixth before he stumbled up to find a piece of paper to write on. The pills were now severely affecting Sam's coordination, causing him to trip and grip his bedsheets for balance. His weight was too large, and he dragged his comforter (and everything on it) to the floor with him.

The final tablet was taken where he landed, too drowsy to stand up. It did the trick, and Sam's eyelids slowly closed for the last time. If he weren't so anesthetized maybe Sam would have believed that Puck bursting through his door was more than just a hallucination.

* * *

"Sam!" Puck's voice rang through the room. He crossed the room in one fluid movement and knelt down, grabbing Sam by the shoulders and shaking him gently. "Wake up," he whispered, his voice breaking. "Wake up, Sam."

Receiving no response, Puck choked back a sob. Suddenly, the fallen bottle of Ambien caught his eye and he frantically scrambled to inspect it.

"You're just sleeping," he sighed with relief. A shaky hand ran down the length of his mohawk.

"He's just sleeping." Puck tried to convince himself that, but he couldn't accept that people normally sleep flat faced and on the floor. Picking up a stray piece of paper with a shaky hand, Puck read.

_I took seven_

The handwriting was nearly illegible, but Puck still identified it as Sam's. It looked as if more was to be written, but it told Puck all he needed to know. After two seconds of adrenaline-fueled thinking, he had a plan.

Puck reached for the Syrup of Ipecac he had hidden in his pocket and hoisted his inert friend against his side, gently consoling him.

"It's gonna be fine... It's gonna be fine..."

He repeated the mantra more to himself than to Sam as he pried open Sam's lips and forced a moderate dose of Ipecac down his throat. Puck crawled around Sam and placed his head in his lap to make sure he didn't choke. Sam's body wasn't cold, which he took for a good sign. He clung nervously to Sam's shirt. All he could do was wait.

"Please come back... Please..." he whispered through choked sobs. He anxiously rocked back and forth as his bottom lip trembled, haunting memories of his friend playing on his mind.

Every interaction, every flirtatious encounter Puck had initiated between the two danced tortuously through his brain as tears spilled down his cheeks. Sam was in limbo between life and death, and Puck never got the chance to confess his feelings. Squeezing Sam tightly, he exhaled, his breath hitching several times.

Then, as if by sheer force of will, a miracle occurred. Sam coughed, his eyes remaining closed but crinkling at the exertion.

"Sam...?" Puck sniffed, hope weaving into his voice. "Sam!"

Sam coughed, and coughed again, alerting Puck to position him in such a way that his impending vomit would be directed at the strewn bed sheets.

"It's going to be fine," Puck soothed, rubbing Sam's back as he began to heave. "Just get it all out." Somehow, even the retching sounds Sam made didn't deter Puck's affection or assistance, and the two stayed for a good five minutes until they were both sure that Sam's stomach could withhold its fluids.

"Hey," Sam said weakly, not moving from his position against his best friend. He didn't seem to notice the smell of his disgorgements pooling in his sheets - either that or he didn't have enough energy to mention it.

"You're alive!" Puck let out a burst of relieved laughter as his breathing slowly returned to normal. "I thought I'd lost you..."

"You'll never lose me," Sam smiled, cocking an eyebrow. "I'll be here forever."

"...You're not making sense," Puck worried. He hurriedly hoisted himself up, lifting Sam up and supporting his weight. "We need to get you to a hospital."

"I'm fine," Sam assured, "I just want to lie down." Shakily, he sprawled over his bed, patting the empty space invitingly. "Come lie with me."

Perplexed, Puck obeyed, lying on the mattress with an air of confusion. Somehow, just lying there with an unharmed Sam seemed to untense his strained feelings.

"Just tell me why you did it," Puck asked, desperation seeping through his voice.

"Because you told me to," Sam said, stretching his arms above his head.

"What!" Puck abruptly stood, offended. "I'd never tell you to kill yourself. Dude, that's crossing the line!"

Sam began to taut at Puck's anger. "It's okay, though, because now I'm here. Which is what we both wanted. Now we can be together."

Puck's face scrunched in bewilderment. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Huh?" Sam sat upright and placed a calming hand on his chest. He felt his necklace through his shirt, and paled instantly. "..Am I sleeping?"

Puck shook his head. "Woke you up, dude. Lucky too, or else you'd be dead. But back to what you said before." Sam blinked in consternation. "What'd you mean by 'we can be together'?"

Sam hesitated, but decided to put all his cards on the table. With a big sigh, he relented. "In my dreams... we're together. And I liked it so much I wanted to stay."

Puck's eyes twinkled and he grinned, sitting on the bed next to Sam. Sam recoiled at the lack of personal space, but didn't move.

"Well, we can be together in this world, too." And with that, Puck placed his hand at the nape of Sam's neck - and guided him into a kiss, aware of yet apathetic to the fact that Sam had only moments ago been using that mouth to vomit everything he had eaten in the last ten days.

Sam gave into his feelings, reciprocating the enthusiasm he received. His necklace bounced softly against his skin, reminding him that this time, he was awake.

* * *

Okay, so there it is. I apologize for kind of cutting the end short, but I wanted to end with the completing Sam's dream (of actually kissing Puck) while he was awake. In makes for nice linear contrast to the beginning of the story.

I want to explain four things about this story: Ambien, Syrup of Ipecac, Sam's dreams, and Sam's necklace.

Ambien is a sleeping pill. I have never used it before, but I tried to use accurate information from the internet. The recommended dosage depends on the intensity of the usage, and since Sam hadn't used the substance since his breakup with his ex (who you may know from my other fictions), one pill would have sufficed to help sleep. So, naturally, he took seven.

Syrup of Ipecac is a liquid used to induce vomiting. I haven't used it either, but from my knowledge it tastes quite fowl and takes around 15-30 minutes to start working. I believe it is discontinued from sale, but Puck still found a way to get it. The Ipecac Syrup helped reverse Sam's overdose by making him regurgitate the sleeping pills. And as they weren't fully digested, it worked quite well.

Now, Sam's dreams may be a little harder to explain. I should mention that this may stem into some of his backstory (of my own creation). In my universe, Sam dated Sebastian, and they had a horrible break up, where Sebastian treated Sam inhumanely. Because of that, Sam was broken - barely sleeping and incredibly insecure. To help cope, he was given Ambien as treatment, but he found even his dreams were haunted by his exes memory. To deal with this, Sam learnt how to Lucid Dream. Lucid Dreaming is a concept where the dreamer in question is aware that they are asleep, and because of that, they can control their surroundings. Sam did this, changing his dream to Puck, but before he could ever kiss him he would always wake.

And lastly, Sam's necklace. Sam's necklace is the heart from Kingdom Hearts, a little homage to a friend of mine. The necklace itself symbolizes which state Sam is in - awake or unconscious. You'll notice in the school dream sequence, I try to make the fact that he is _bare chested_ emphasised. And, of course, when he is awake he is wearing it. It's an anchor that tells Sam himself if he's dreaming or not.

And this also explains Sam's actions at the end. He thought that his plan had worked, so he treated Puck like his dream Puck, and then quickly came to realize he was awake, adjourning his necklace as well.

...Wow, I hope that all made sense. Anywho, if you made it this far, thank you for reading my fiction! Please tell me your thoughts of it! I want to progress as a writer, so I need some things to improve on :s


End file.
